The artist of the month is Victoria Lopez the founder of Unfolded Poetry and local poet. I chose Victoria for what she has allowed me to create through her advice, guidance, and knowledge as a writer. A writer to writer, a friend to friend. Victoria led me to release my writing onto the public via Una Noche De Ensenar, showcasing my vulnerability through writing. So, thank you Victoria @victoria.I.lopez
Diving into our introductory questions I ask Victoria what she has been enjoying recently?“I've been reading a lot. I never really listened to audiobooks before. I started listening to a lot of them and I started reading, Poets and authors who I maybe would have not been, maybe have not read, or engaged with prior. Only because I really prefer dead poets and writers. So I've been reading more modern books and I think that it's interesting to hear more modern written voices and where they pull their inspiration from. So reading has been more of a passion for me. Recently, I've been spending a lot of time on Duolingo. I've been learning Hungel, South Korean and I think I'm at a 690 day streak, so I can read it and I could sound it out. I know very few words. I enjoy that a lot and I travel a lot for work so I do enjoy that. I like the work aspect of it. I enjoy working. I like keeping productive and seeing steps come through. I also enjoyed just being able to pull myself out of it and enjoy the present and I think that's something I've really been challenging myself to do. Just really taking in all of the surroundings. Sometimes I'm very fast-paced. I just continue and I think I've also enjoyed this little, this loneliness of life that I've permitted myself to have as of recently.” Yeah I’ve been enjoying a lot of Helldivers 2 on PC recently. It’s so so soooo good! I understand what Victoria means when she states “this loneliness of life that I’ve permitted myself to have” because at times we do need time for ourselves. I continue by asking if there are any shutouts? “Shout outs to like uh other fellow artists who i really love. Besides my unfolded board members because I'm obsessed with them. Yeah, I mean, okay, well then obviously to my unfolded board members, I love Abi, Sonali Manuel Paz and Kenan. Uh, outside of that. local artists that I really engage with would be my love high priestess. I love them. I like what they do a lot.” I haven’t met the entire board of the unfolded poetry, but I’ve met some and I’ve been to a couple of the unfolded poetry events. I’ll meet them all eventually.
I begin by asking Victoria, how would you describe yourself? Like your art and the work that you push out. The poetry, the individual behind it, the individual you put into the work as she says “everything about the human condition is captivating. Being a human is one of the most delicate blessings, and one of the most dangerous burdens and, I've been really contending with the blessings and burning burdens of just being. In my writing, I really try to talk about the process of being and becoming. There's a lot of fluid movement there. Um, Surrender is so important to me and because of my character, I'm very stubborn. I'm very persistent and that could be seen as maybe as a character flaw, but I think that's also one of the things that makes me uh, stand out. So, firm on what I believe in. I'm very, it's very hard to shake me and in my writing. You know, when you're surrounded by so much noise and you hear something or you understand something or you resonate with something and all of a sudden everything around you gets so quiet and you can finally hear something. And again, that could be. Uh, otherworldly or it could really pull you further into a place that maybe you want to settle in a loan with and i think that's important is that surrender can bring us to our needs and solitude or it could allow us to rise up and lift our eyes to see ahead and our arms to everything that could be ours or potentially as promised to us. More than anything in my writing, my mission. I think the reason why I exist in this entire world is I really want to inspire hope in people. I really want to be a person who when you engage with me, or you speak with me, You leave with something because there's something I want to give and to every person it's different because each of us are consistently being translated by every person we meet. So there's so many versions of who i am, just like, there's so many versions of who you are in every person that we meet and there's not just one of us and I think that is, part of this life that we create is, We lend ourselves and despite the situation or circumstance, i truly believe that we are worthy of all that is good in this world. Uh, I don't think and sometimes that can be very isolating. In my writing, that is truly what I want to do is evoke. You are worthy despite your situation or your circumstance besides like the unsettled feeling in your stomach, despite what you see on paper, despite how you may feel in the morning when you wake up and again, when you lay down at night is ultimately, and at the end of the day, like i truly believe that every person has a true purpose and calling How it contributes to the grand scheme of things? I don't know that and there's things that I've experienced that I know today.
That I know for the rest of my life, I will have no answer for and I have to have peace with that. And I think that when my poetry tries to communicate it is like even in even in all of it, through it all there can be peace.And joy is allowed to you, just as much as sorrow is. I truly try to be the most human version of myself in my writing, even though sometimes I don't speak as my person does when we meet face to face. It's an extension of who I am, part of me. I think, because I sit with all these versions of myself and I sit with all these intensities, that I can have some type of balance. In my sadness, I can be sad and still thrive. In my happiness, I can have joy and leave it at the same time. I believe it's all part of something that's given to me, but also something that I allow myself. Being an artist, being a writer, especially, is so difficult because you're putting yourself in the most vulnerable of ways. It's literally from your mind to your heart, to your tongue. I truly believe that anything you speak falls into existence and you make it real. I try to be very careful with my words. I truly believe that people are good, even when they may prove otherwise. We all tussle in this world, and I believe people need to have advocates. In my poetry, I hope to be an advocate for people's worth, for themselves. So that, at the end of the day, I may have given a seed of some type to each person who reads my poetry or meets me. I hope that I can give them a seed, and it is up to them if they want to go and plant that seed today, tomorrow, in two years. But it's theirs, and I will always continue to give myself to people." I remember when Victoria had an open mic and I brought a poem to read out loud…I didn’t end up reading it. It wasn’t until a couple of months ago I released my first zine with poems in English and Spanish. Victoria came to our Una Noche De Ensenar event and that was the first time I publicly shared my work. Victoria planted the “seed” by always encouraging me and asking me questions when I shared snippets and ideas with her via Instagram. I mean I even wrote them in Spanish and that’s going out of my own comfort zone, but I think what led me to that was also the unfolded poetry lesson led by Emmanuel (which was super fun). As mentioned, that seed got planted and eventually sprouted. Now I’m working on a new poetry project, but it’s a postcard series. I really like what Victoria mentioned “So there's so many versions of who i am, just like, there's so many versions of who you are” because I think about this a lot. I think about the versions of myself that make me who I am and the versions of myself that I look back on because that is also me. Versions of me that may have “tussled” with the world with myself at times, but have led me to the experiences, the emotions, the actions, and results of it all. The human condition sure is something, huh?
One of my favorite questions to ask as of recently has been, how would you describe your artstyle, but by giving it your own label outside of its medium. If you could give it a word or make up your own to express your art style for example one of the artists said, “the name for my art is Sandarito.” This is because his art focuses a lot on his childhood interests, things he watched growing up, and just colors and characters created. HeI chooses to infuse a lot of his past and childhood imagination into his work. That's the word he chose to describe his art. I begin to see Victoria's gears click and move as she ponders a word in her mind right in front of me as she says “I'm thinking of a word, but I want to look at its definition before I say it. It's only one word, so I'm not sure how it would be. It's not as precious as what the Harlingen artist said, but I think a lot of my work is like a ‘presupposition’. The root of it is medieval, but it's a phrase, 'freeze opposition,' which means freezing a presupposition. A presupposition is something faintly, tactically assumed beforehand, at the beginning of an argument or a course of action.I want my work to be a call to action, to trigger something. I mean, that's what I want, right? I want a reaction. Sometimes, you don't see the reactions when people read your work, but it's really just an implicit assumption about the world or a background belief relating to an utterance whose truth is taken for granted in discourse. It could be an example like, 'Jane no longer writes fiction,' and the presupposition is, 'Jane once wrote fiction.' So, it's almost putting the present into the past. I think that's what my work tries to do. It isn't like I'm trying to stop you.I get a sense from what you're saying about there being multiple versions of yourself that Victoria went through, and every piece you've written before is you. But, in the past, you've constantly transformed into the present, into the new version of yourself. So, you're saying they may not be as precious as the other artists, but it's about it being true to you, and that's how it was for him, and that's what's true. There's no need to freeze presuppositional. How would you freeze presupposition, right? Maybe. Yeah, it goes back to being and becoming and having been. So, really, that past, present, and future of us, the thoughts, especially as a writer. I'm sure you've experienced this too, where you go back and read things you've written before, and you almost don't recognize yourself in it anymore. Like, who was that person? But also, without them, I wouldn't be who I am today, and there's acceptance and recognition of some type of transitory journey. Yeah, I was reading an article the other day, and it was talking about... Actually, it wasn't an article; it was an author's feedback on his own writing. They were asking him about one of his greatest works, and he said, 'You all really like this book, but for me, it will always be this book. For me, it's the best work I've ever done, the most honest version of myself I've ever known.' So, you guys recognize and acknowledge this work, when I cannot forget this version, this work of my own. I think that's so important because he didn't forget who he was when he began. Even in my own work, like when I go back to reading 'Fire in Me.' I'm like, that was my first published novel. I read it, and I'm like, 'This is me, but I don't know her.' As I'm writing the sequel to the book, it's probably been one of the most difficult things because there's this feeling of being like an imposter or a fraud within your own self. Because you're like, 'I wrote this. How can I continue in the same language, in the same voice of a previous version of me that I am so close to yet have moved so far away from? And how can I continue that story?' It's a fantastic undertaking that has taken me a little longer than I thought it would have. So, I sit with it, punch in a couple of paragraphs, and I always go back to that version of myself always because she's who captured me."
When I first met you, it was at the Mcallen Incubator. You were playing with your typewriter, and I was like, "Wow!" You were taking in images or taking a word and creating poetry on the spot.I remember seeing how fast you were going. Sliding the typewriter and pressing on each of your keys. I never went up to you because I never found a proper word for poetry on demand. Until the day of C’s exhibition where they gave me a postcard. I walked up to you and presented you with my postcard from C’s exhibition for my first poem on demand. Everything you wrote I cherished because It captured the beauty of what I witnessed that day. I have that framed, not framed, but tacked on my wall. It made me always wonder, how did it start? Of course, we all have a beginning leading up to where we are now. From writing at home or in a journal, leading up to poetry on demand where you can just write about anything. How did you come to be where you are now? How did you start, and how did you end up just being able to create as she shares her story “for me, I had always been a writer. I started writing as soon as I could hold a pencil. It's how I communicated. If there was something going on in my family, I'd write them a letter so they could understand how I was feeling. Little Victoria would always do that, and I remember that. Probably, I had already been introducing myself as a writer. I had barely started my Instagram and thought, ‘I'm going to have to be a poetry account,’ which is sometimes silly to me, but I really honor it. I was pursuing my career and my education, and what my future would look like. I ended up having this job that was fantastic for me at that time. I remember having a dream, and I jumped into that dream, and it just stayed with me. It was in my spirit, in my soul, in my skin to the point it itched. I couldn't get this dream out of me, and it just lingered. At this job, I was working so hard, truly lending myself. There's that point where you're working a job and you're just like, ‘Man, this is not it.’ But it's what you always wanted. I always wanted this. And I had it, and it's not what I wanted whatsoever. I remember literally saying a prayer, going back to my stubbornness. I said, "Lord, I'm not a quitter. I don't quit. I will stay here, push through, do every literal thing I can, and make the best of it because that's who I am." I said, ‘If you want me out of this job, you're going to have to get me fired. With the results I'm bringing in, there's no way I'm going to get fired. So, do what you will?’ That was literally my prayer. I went into work the next day. The dream was still in my head, to the point I saw it on the wall everywhere. I went, burdened by it. I remember thinking, ‘I don't know what I need to do, but I'm going to just open up Microsoft Word and start typing.’ I just needed to get something out. My employer came into my office, closed the door, and said, ‘Hey, we need you full-time.’ I said, ‘I know I'm on a part-time schedule, can't do it full-time. That's part of the agreement.’ They said, ‘The results you're bringing in, we're going to need you full-time.’ I can't do it full-time; I'm going to school. ‘We need someone full-time, Victoria. We want that person to be you.’ I can't do that. I'm so sorry. Today's going to be our last day; we only have a budget for another full-timer. So, I got fired. I remember they said, ‘You can work out the rest of the day.’ I sat there writing and writing the rest of my dream down, and that turned out to be the first chapter of my book.Time went on, I left that job, concentrated on my book, submitted my manuscript, got picked up, the book was already going to be out for publication. It was nearly months out, and McAllen Public Library called me. ‘We're having the McAllen Book Festival. We'd love to have you be part of it. ’I don't have printed books. ‘Whatever you want. It's still your table.’ So, I sat down in my room and thought, ‘What am I going to do?’ I saw my typewriter and thought, ‘I could type poems. I love poems.’ I made a poster: Poetry on Demand. Give me a word, topic, phrase, question, feeling, thought before you go to bed, and I'll write a poem for you. You can keep it or give it to someone you love. It's poetry on demand. It's yours. Give me a donation or follow me on Instagram. The night before the McAllen Book Festival, I asked my family for weird topics, phrases, questions, feelings, thoughts. I wrote them all at home and thought, ‘Let's see how this goes.’ I went to McAllen Public Library the next day, set up the table, and ended up writing close to 80 poems that day. I didn't know I could do it until I just sat down and did it, and it became one of my favorite things. I actually miss it. I haven't done it in a while, and if I were to do that, I think I'd probably end up crying. I haven't been that transparent in a little bit. Between work and unfolded, Victoria, I have a forthcoming poetry collection this year that I've just been really putting my heart into, and I haven't done poetry on demand. I'd like to just sit at a table somewhere and start doing it again. That's how I started. I just started by starting. Sometimes when people ask, 'How do you do this?' You do it by doing it. How do you start? You start by starting. What do you begin with? You begin by beginning. That's probably the most frustrating advice I can give you, but it's the most honest. That's how you learn because most every single thing in my life has been unplanned. It's a skill that I thought was one of my personal flaws and just became a strength because I'm so stubborn. Yeah, it's been really fun. It's funny because it wanted to be sort of long, and they're like, 'How do you start? What do you do?' Decent advice, but I rolled down the best advice. I told them, because when you're narrating stuff, it's the most conversational, casual thing, and they're just like, 'What's the secret? What's the process?' No, you have to love it. Yeah, you have to love it, and sometimes loving it is leaving it for a little bit. Sometimes I see something or experience something, or just talking about it, like, I used to not be the type of person who would cry very often. Once I hit that surrender point and accepted this part of myself, there's almost a moral obligation. I have to, my personal mission. Whenever I start talking about it, I'm moved.
We have this fake word in my family called ‘clumenched.' It's not a real word; we've looked for it everywhere. It just means that your entire self is almost tight because you're trying to keep yourself from crying. Like you're really trying to keep the tears on the inside of your waterline, at the line of your eye; you're just clumenced. But it's something that you hear in your voice. People can feel it, like an experience, and, uh, I think it's funny because we don't use that word outside of the house. Not a real word, but it's very real to us. Yeah, when I start talking about my writing and my poetry and my mission, and that you are worthy, I care about people so much, and it hurts me that, you know, by their own hand, by my own hand, we don't do the things we want to do, and we seek so much validation externally. We forget why we started, like, why did you start your blog? I just wanted to have fun, enjoy something I liked, and show people they could enjoy it too. Then also, not hold yourself to ridiculous idealistic standards. I don't have to post every single day on Instagram for my poetry account to be a poetry account. Some days, there are weeks where I don't write. It doesn't make me less of a writer or less creative. Sometimes you have to step away from it, you know? It's like when you're drawing or writing; sometimes you put your face so close to the paper and pencil that you don't even realize you're so close. You finally pull back, and you're like, ‘Oh, it's all there.’ But do you hyper-focus on this one little detail that you forget there's this entire picture, an entire world around it? You truly are the ruler of your own life. You can have agency, but there comes a surrender and acceptance to that. So the advice you gave was perfect. Sometimes what we have to say isn't what people want to hear. It's not a step one, two, three. This is very isolating. But until you consider a room by yourself and your own company. That's the best advice. I tell people to sit by themselves, be their own company because, no matter where you go, no matter where you try to escape to, you're going with you. I pray that you like yourself and then enjoy your own company because once you can do that, some things just seem to be because, no matter where you go, no matter where you try to escape to, you're going with you. I pray that you like you and then you enjoy your own company because once you can do that, Some things just seem to be a little simpler.” I think back on the “perfect” job I had when I was in college as program director, but obviously I wouldn’t have lasted forever due to graduation. Since then I thought about what to do? I was MISSING something. I was yearning for the loss of engagement and involvement that I had with my previous job. That I wasn’t going to reach what I had in mind without doing it myself. Without putting the first step and seeing where that led me. It may sound like shit advice because I’ve given it before just like Victoria when being asked “how do you start?” or “what’s your secret to progressing?” Well there’s no secret. As a writer, as an artist, as someone who puts their own time into this hobby as Victoria could relate. It’s all about doing, it’s all about having fun, and not forgetting your own reasoning for pursuing. Besides that I love love love poetry on demand. I’m looking up at my wall behind my computer screen. I have the poem Victoria wrote next to my two postcards and a strip of mini film C gave me. Next to it is another poem that Victoria wrote. That one is a poem based on an image of Twin Peaks (the show) I showed her and she somehow captured it really well even after she told me she’s never watched the show before. I was kinda laughing to myself because she signs her poems and on one of them she wrote her name HUGE haha. I keep a lot of things that I cherish next to my computer. Reminds me of how I started to where I am now. Just how Victoria may look at her first published book, these art prints, poems, and posters on my wall are the same way for me.
I always kept my personal writing to myself, whether I'm journaling or when I did essays in school. It is something I enjoyed more than anything else, especially when it was a small personal stuff. There were times I would show you drafts, ideas, and concepts. I was wondering, has anyone else come to you as well, whether it's to talk or just to show you their work or to be a bit of a guide as she exclaims “I got a message this morning. Yeah, I go to a lot of schools, right? So I'll go to different middle schools, different high schools, and different organizations. And they'll invite me to speak or do a poetry workshop or do activities with the girls or the students. It's really humbling. Sometimes it's like even this morning, like, you know, you get that random message request on Instagram, and you're like, oh, they just want me to buy followers. You go in there and you look, and it's like an actual profile. I looked in there this morning, and it was a girl, and she's like, ‘hey, you spoke at STC about like two years ago and I think about you every single time I want to write, and I always see you reminding me to write. And, I wrote this poem, and I'd really love for you to read it, and I'd really love your feedback. Like, would you do that for me? I know that I'm asking a lot.’ I'm like absolutely, send it over. I'd love to read it. She sends it over. It's a very personal poem, a very complex topic, a serious topic. I read it, and I gave her my feedback. One, you always acknowledge the writer. You acknowledge them because that's their person. That's their human. She resonated with that. You understand the poem and the words for what they are, what they represent, what they mean? Not just to me but just the person who put them down. I gave her feedback. You tackled a serious topic with elegance and simplicity in a way that people can understand with layman terms. In a true authentic voice, which is very much your own, I'm gonna challenge you now. Challenge you to look between every line that you wrote, and I want you to add more. I want you to say more. And if there's nothing else, stand by the period that you put down on that piece of paper. Keep it. What else? What more? Ask yourself that. I said, but that's where the sentence ends. Let it end. If there's more then perhaps, you were not ready to put down a challenge. You know, she just responded like, ‘can't believe you read my poem. That means so much to me. You don't understand this. You're one of my favorite writers. I read your poetry all the time.’ You know, that's a, it's humbling. There's a lot of responsibility to that, and I get that often. If it's not about their poetry, like if it's not a poet or a writer who wants me to read their work for feedback. Sometimes it's just like advice and I take that very, uh, it's very important to me. Because one, this person for some reason kept me in their mind. Just like, I'm almost this representation of like, my own mission of ‘you are worthy’, and they think of that and they write.That's a, that's a personal responsibility I have to like myself and to other writers. There are other instances too. Similarly.
Another time I was doing poetry on demand, and there was this girl just walking around, and I was like, do you want a poem? She waited in line, and then she got to the front of the table, and she was like, you're finally done. Then like, yes. And she's like, ‘I've been waiting. My parents are literally in the car waiting for me. Like, I saw that you were gonna be here, and I needed to see you.’ What's going on? Like how can I help? And she's like, ‘you came to my school?’ and she said the same thing. I have a number like two, four, six, like in that sequence, which means a lot to me.I see it a lot, but she said the same thing. She's like, ‘you came to my school. You were at Sharyland High School two years ago, and I care a lot about my studies, and they pulled us out of our classes to go listen to this writer girl, and it was you, and I was so irritated and annoyed because I thought you were such a waste of time.’ I'm like, awesome. The girl continued by saying ‘but the other day I was, I don't know what I was feeling, but it made me mad and sad at the same time and you came into my brain and I finally understood what you were saying that day.’ She continued by saying ‘I started writing. And I felt so much better afterward. I remembered what you said about the seed, about how, like, I can use the seed today or whenever I wanted to. I ended up writing about seeds, and seeds are really important to me now. I just wanted to, like, see how you were. You're still writing, you know?’ We talked for a bit and then she's like, ‘okay, I'm gonna leave. I have college entrances to focus on. Are you on Instagram?’ and she's asked if she could DM me if she ever needs something. I take mentorship very seriously. So the fact that somebody would like, take the time to do that is, uh, eccentric, as my interaction may have been like it and made a difference like in her and me. So, that's the influence we have on one another as writers, as people who listen, right and speak. Yeah, people come to me. And I appreciate it, and I'm glad that I could be there for people in the way they need.” Do you know Patrick? “Who?” Hmmm y’know Puro Tigers Blood. We met in 2019, for the first time and eventually we went out for beers together. Now our relationship is like big brother, little brother. “I think I've met him twice. Once because what was the name of the old place downtown that used to throw shows?” Old? Maybe Yerberia? “Yes! I did poetry on demand there once. A girl knocked my typewriter over and then yelled at me.” Oop! Well I mention Patrick because he’s like a mentor to me especially with how I see him. I do not know how he feels or thinks, but I’m appreciative of the relationship we’ve been able to create and the conversations we’ve had.
How did the idea of creating unfolded poetry come from? What made you want to create a group and bring others together to write, creating self expressing together as she states “So, when I was, Announced, like the 2022 city of McAllen poet laureate. The first thing I thought was, okay, community. Civic service. Like, what am I going to do for writers? What did I need as a young writer in a community that maybe I didn't have? How can I lend and extend myself? I was just like, go ahead. It's like, you know how when you write down notes or write down a poem and you put it on a piece of paper, you kind of feel there's something there. You don't know what it is, but you want to return to it. And that's the key word – you want to return to it. So, you fold the paper and you put it away. One day, it's tucked into some random corner, on a day when you don't even realize that you need it the most. You find that tucked piece of paper somewhere – in a tin can or in a drawer, or a random journal. And you unfold it. You unfold it and you return to it – whether you return to that person, that thought, that feeling, that experience. You return to writing. That's what I wanted Unfolded to be. I wanted us to truly unfold who we are as people, as artists, and return to writing, return to ourselves, return to our creativity, our artistry, and just really let it blossom. Unfold. And it's symbolic because it could be paper; it could unfold in a human capacity. You can unfold your arms and extend your knees, stretch them out, exercising, practicing. I just wanted to have a reason for myself to practice writing, teach it, and create a consistency for myself and for the community. I had this whole plan written out, and I looked at it and thought, ‘That's a lot. I want to do a lot, and I'm just me.’ Then, that's when Sonali sent me the message, and Sonali was like, ‘Hey Victoria, I have a friend, she's a poet, and she wants to do some poetry stuff in the community.’ And I said, ‘Are you serious? I have an entire five-year plan for this community poetry project, and I just can't do it alone. I need people who love poetry. Can she come to the studio?’ So, Nali and Avi and this is the first time I met Avi. We started talking. I'm like, ‘Okay, this is who I am. This is what I care about. This is what's important to me – Unfolded Poetry Project. I want us to meet at least twice a month to focus on topics. The key is listening, right? Speak. I would want this, this, and this. I'm going to do all of this. I just need support, man." And they're just like, ‘Let's do it.’ So, in two Tuesdays from now, we're going to do our first general intro session upstairs. Let's see how it goes. And we did it. We pushed it, we marketed it, and we had like 30, 35 people show up. And then people just kept showing up every Tuesday, every other Tuesday when we posted a workshop. That's when I was like, okay, obviously, because I had this plan, we're going to become a non-profit organization, but in the state of Texas, you need to have six board members. So, I just kept an eye out for the people who consistently came to the workshops. I spotted Emmanuel, Kennon, and Paz, who all have unique attributes and are passionate about writing and about people and art. I approached each of them and said, ‘Hey, we're going to put together an anthology. We got picked up by a publisher who said they'd print it for us. So, do you want to help us put together this manuscript?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ And I said, ‘‘You could be an Unfolded board member.’ And they're like, ‘Absolutely.’ That's when they joined us, and that's when Unfolded became six of us.
We put out ‘Had I Known Before,’ our first anthology, and it was a fantastic experiment. We learned a lot from it – learned about our writers, learned about editing and publishing, formatting, and typesetting. Everything. It was my first anthology, and each of us brought a unique set of skills and vision to the book. It's out now, and we helped create and publish poets here in the Rio Grande Valley in the United States. It's fantastic, it's fun, and you read it, and we put it in order of age. So, you have our youngest poet at the beginning and our eldest poet at the end, and you definitely hear voice, experience. It's actually a really pretty anthology – a beautiful collection. Now, that's how I began, and it's still going. Now, we are two years into being the Unfolded Poetry Project. We are officially a non-profit organization. If anybody wants to donate or support our cause, we can now officially accept funds. You know, not that paper and pencils are too expensive, but... The memories that we love doing things like that.” Wow, just the messaging behind that one word “unfolded.” I remember smiling when Victoria said this out loud because it HIT ME. Literally UNFOLDED haha and it brought me back to the projects put aside, brought back, and eventually put aside again. There’s a time when it comes out of the “tin can” and sees completion. I actually own the anthology, but I didn’t start it from page one…I like flipping through it and reading off random pages. What I found interesting is that when I brought up Unfolded to my friend Janette she mentioned that her boyfriend Gus is in the poetry book! That was certainly a fun fact that now I look forward to randomly landing on his page. I remember meeting Abi at her art exhibition like oooof years ago. I remember thinking she didn’t like me haha and then she was “I thought you didn’t like me dude!”, but now we are great friends. Funny enough how that tends to happen to me…maybe I should consider writing about that? Oh well into the “tin-can” it goes for now and it shall eventually be UNFOLDED!
I read your poetry, as you mentioned. It's always past versions of yourself, but there's always something so vulnerable, something someone might say is "real." When it comes to wanting to think about putting it all out there, how does that make you feel? Being able to share the experience starts with easy motion, three writing, and at times, even having spoken weaved in, possibly even connecting with others as she says “something that I tell our workshop participants when they come to any of our sessions or events is that sometimes, as we begin to discover our written voice, there's definitely something there — a topic, theme, certain symbolisms, or items that we constantly return to. They make appearances after appearances in our writing, and for some reason, we cannot escape it. Sometimes, I read my work and think, ‘Hand and knee again. Victoria. Return to the earth again, Victoria. Salt again, Victoria. Speaking of men, in the plural inclusive to women. Born of the third rib again, Victoria.’ That's where my heart goes. And if my heart goes to a place and we meet there, okay, so be it. What more can I do but write another one? And what more can I do after that if I need to do it again, and I need to do it again? And if it all sounds similar, and if it all sounds repetitive, man, I'm really close to whatever I'm trying to find, whatever I'm trying to get to, like the spirit of me. I'm getting real close if I keep returning to the same things. There's something there. Just keep writing. And, it's gonna work if people go there with me, and I meet them there. Let it be. Let's go together. Let's go forward together. So, I'm appreciative of it. It's always hard to put yourself out there. I don't care how many poems you've written. I don't care how many public spaces you've read in. Putting yourself out there again and again and again and allowing yourself to be seen and interpreted and perceived and assumed again and again and again, and then you, in your own turn, because we all seek that authenticity of self.
Question yourself. You're like, am I real? Is this real? Do I keep going back to this because it's what I know? Is it where I'm comfortable, or is there truly something more there? I always tell myself, like, what more after I like, what sacrifices must I make? Like, who am I? What do I represent? If I find out what my calling is, and what my purpose is, and I'm willing to make the sacrifices, will I be consistent? Am I dedicated? All I return to is my writing. That's how I question myself and keep myself accountable. Secondly, people have more in common than we give ourselves credit for. It's time to recognize we really are so human.” It’s funny because the zine I created with my 6 poems all revolved around the same lovey dovey shit. Working on my new postcard series MY FIRST ONE WAS ON MY FEELINGS. Like come on LOVE AGAIN. RAM. Haha it’s just as Victoria says I must be “really close to whatever I'm trying to find, whatever I'm trying to get to.” Am I tired of writing about the same concept…not really, because it’s one of the things that makes me “real.” It’s all part of the human condition, right?
How do you wish to experiment, evolve, or adapt your current work? Is there anything that you see or can envision that's like, "I want to incorporate that into a future work one day"? Victoria says “So, since it's still an ongoing project, I have to get my last edits to the editor and then to the publisher. And, I have to sit with myself, right? How many poems is it? Hold on, let me pull out my calculator. It's 168 poems. And all of them were written between 2016 to today. Every time I did poetry on demand, I took a picture of every poem before I gave it away. A good place later, because once I gave it away, it's gone. I'll never see that part of myself again. I may recall what I said or what inspired me, but I'll never see it again. Like, what inspired me? And what I felt, and I always remember the people's faces for some reason, or there's like a recollection of them standing before me with a typewriter between us. Like there's a remembrance there. So sometimes people will go blah blah blah, and I'm like, ‘I wrote you a poem, didn't I?’ And they're like, ‘Yeah.’ But in this manuscript, it's six sections, and each section has 28 poems. Each section is kind of like a statement, but it's woven together by 28 separate poems that can be read as a call to action, almost like a speech with urgency. Each one stands alone, but all I did was I brought different people's hearts and requests together to create just an understanding. I like to create highs and lows, that's what we experience every day. And I thought it was interesting because when I gave it to the first editor (this is the third edit, it's been through), she, being a fantastic writer and well-respected in the poetry community, gave me a piece of feedback. One of her pieces of feedback was, ‘Something I don't necessarily understand or particularly enjoy is that your collection's structure and formatting seem to find hope and then lose it. There's not a consistent sense of hope. I would recommend reformatting to maintain tone.’
I found that really interesting because I'm like, Yeah, that means I did what I was trying to do because I don't care how much hope you have or how much vision you have or how many steps forward you have. We don't wake up every single day of our lives inspired and with hope. And if I created an imbalance by putting these requesters of poems next to each other in that way, so be it because that's how it is around. We don't wake up every single day ready. Some days are just not the day. And that's okay. If it's unsettling, let it be. But I think that's something that I'm practicing because ultimately, I do believe in hope. I believe in forgiveness, surrender, resurrection, and healing. I believe in it, but I have to have everything else too. The blessing and the burden of all of it. So that is something that I'm playing with, the imbalance of it. And I think that's something that I've found peace in recently, is the discomfort. Because again, I'm stubborn, right? If I'm stubborn, that means I could be a little bit controlling, which I'm really learning how to let go of. ‘I trust you, take it. Take it.’ But I am playing with discomfort recently, and I've really been in my own self, exploring disgust. I've really been enjoying disgust recently. It's actually really beautiful.”
How has it been meeting so many writers throughout your journey? Online, you attend varying events or go to different locations, bouncing ideas with numerous writers along your path as she exclaims “There are so many writers—everyone is a writer. Everyone has at least two to three novels inside them because if you dream, well, that's a book, right? You dream; that's a series; you dream; that's a story to tell. It's a poem to write. Why not sit down and write it? I think it's so impressive because when I was beginning to introduce myself to my community as a writer and poet, something we do when we're young and continue in adulthood is compare ourselves, trying to fit in somewhere. We don't fit in; we don't fit in as writers. We can all talk about love, but we don't look at love the same way. We don't define it the same way; we don't lay with it the same way. That's fine. It's tremendous that there's so much to be said, and there's an extent to words. There are only so many words, and still, as writers, the diversity of everyone that I've met—they use the same words in different ways to reach different people, to tell different stories in the most magnificent ways. Every voice literally is important. I can say everyone; we're about to read poems about love. 28 poems around. None of these poems will be the same. They won't sound the same; they won't feel the same. That is the human experience. It's all one and none at all. It is so unique, isolating, and liberating.
If you want to write, just write it. It doesn't matter what your story is—tell it. Because again, it can make an impact, it can make a change, and it's worth being heard because you are worth being heard, even within your own self. Even if you never want to read your poems out loud, if you never want to send them to somebody else to read, write for yourself. Lay yourself out on a piece of paper. Write it, fold it, put it away, tuck it away in the tin or the drawer or the journal, and forget about it.One day, when you need yourself the most, you will find that folded piece of paper. Unfold it, and you will return to it.” I have met various artists. I meet artists at events, pop up markets, or artists I look into on social media. While the topics and themes may be “similarly” discussed. Everyone has their own story, their own way of telling it, their own experiences with that theme/topic. They express it through their own personalized medium of choice. Everyone has a book within them? Everyone has a piece to create with their own hands to shape and make through the emotions/stories within them. In relation to what Victoria said “they use the same words in different ways to reach different people, to tell different stories in the most magnificent ways.”
What are your thoughts on the local arts in the valley? As she thinks and looks through her phone, trying to find what seems to be a poem she wrote (if I remember correctly, she didn’t find it, lol), she expressed “I’m impressed and inspired by this community that continues despite the challenges we have to overcome in this region. Some of it has been allotted to us, but some is accepted and acknowledged. There's this silent knowing that many of us share in this region. It's not something we talk about openly, but there's so much heart and passion in many people in our art community. The way we present ourselves, by the time I looked inside, I thought, ‘There's nothing we can't do.’ Sometimes accessibility and location, and sometimes language, seem to be limitations. Truly, they are what sets us apart, and I think we realize that as a community. We are set apart. We're not necessarily central to whatever it may be, but you hold it, please. You can do it here. You know what I mean? You can do whatever your heart is calling you to do, whatever your dream is—you can do it here. And you can do it with people who want it just as badly as you do, people who want to support you in it and see you have it. I feel like that's so important. You truly can find a community in this area, and you can make one. You can connect with people who have similar experiences, but they're so different at the same time. I don't know what to call it, but there is a true capability in this region. There's such a large diversity of artists—musicians, DJs, writers, illustrators. If you want to find it, you can find it here. And that person's put their entire selves into it. I've traveled a lot and read poetry in many different places. I was in New York in December and went to many open mics, attended a bunch of readings. Poetry indoctrinated visits? Are people I'm not even being biased because I'm really not a biased person. We have it. Had I taken us and put us in a different spot, it would have been just as magical and would have made perfect sense as to why we were there. I think that's something I can literally take our artists and put them anywhere, and they make sense. They fit; they belong. I think that's sometimes our own limitation, and again, something. I've been doing this for a while. Working on. Writing and being part of the community.”
Are there any final comments you’d like to make?
“Man, if somebody wants me to go somewhere and sit with my typewriter, tell me when and where. I want to do it. Final comments: in every photo, she's a writer, right? If you write, then you're a writer. Use it as if you want to draw, then draw. If you draw, you're an artist. If you want to sing, then sing. And if you sing, you're a singer. As humans, we're capable of doing all of it.
Yeah, we can be all of it, and we're worthy of it. You are worthy. That is always my mission message: you are worthy.
Come to unfold it. Whatever people say, come to unfold it.”
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